Later or Never?

Sometimes

I cry inside my heart

Because it is too painful

Till the tears unable to flow

Till my silence describes everything

That words can't.

It requires strength 

To hold these so tight

From people's sight

And let only me face the night

I struggle to fight

Till the day is once again, bright.

I pray harder

Hope for the better

Waiting for my future

Will it come later

Or never?

Journey of my life

When things came from nowhere unexpectedly

It freaked me out

Too many to feel

Destroy my dreaming wishes

How could it be?

I tried hard

To step up

To rebuild

To regain

To proceed 

This journey

But somehow

I stuck

In my own path.

I stopped there

Thinking out loud might help

I guessed.

When I started

My brain won't assess the letters;

S-T-O-P

Kept working

Till days and nights

Are meaningless

The only thing that I searched for 

was a meaningful journey of my life

That I had before

Where they are all had gone?